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| Hungry Monkey | A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball and swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy,"Did you see what your monkey just did?"
The guy says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table! Whole!", says the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me, replied the patron" "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything he eats, cue ball and all."
The patron finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.
The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs the cherry and sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" he asked.
"Now what?", responded the patron.
"Well, he stuck the maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!", says the barkeeper.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me." replies the patron, "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damned cue ball, he measures everything first!" |
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